WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN' ON WITH MY LIFE?!

March, 22nd 2013
I turned off all my social network accounts. Facebook, Twitter, Path, Instagram, Skype, Yahoo! Messenger, all!

March, 23rd 2013
Was still with my turned off social network accounts. I want to fade away.

March, 24th 2013
I want to runaway.

March, 25th 2013
The climax. Today, I felt like I couldn't do anything correctly.

I had no class today. So I just cleaned my room, laid down, did nothing. I'm supposed to be happy because I'm arranging the itinerary for my holiday to Thailand and Singapore on June. But, yeah... Don't feel good at all. I still act normally in front of my friends. Laughing, joking, hanging out, talking, gossiping... But deep inside my heart, I'm not okay at all. Well, I'm really talented at hiding feelings and faking laugh.

Tonight, I was supposed to have a meeting with my professor to discuss about Field Trip 2, an annual college activity. The Field Trip 1 had been undergone on the 2nd semester. But unfortunately, because of misunderstanding between me, the professor, and the chairman of this activity, the appointment to meet my professor had to be scrubbed. Then, I came back home desperately and when I arrived at my boardinghouse, my friend, Zita, came here and told her fight with her boyfriend. Not so long after hearing her story, I got an info that Bayu was sent to the hospital due to asphyxiate. And also some text messages that really made me down (I really can't share what it is here. All you have to know is it brought me down, so deep down). I just...don't know. Why do these things come to me in a sudden and in once?

Maybe it doesn't seem like something I have to think too much. But in my unstable feeling and condition like right now, even the littlest thing can really distract my mind.

et cetera..., I Miss You!

et cetera..., I miss you!

Ya, that's the most suitable title for this post I think. I know I've been such a scumbag for ignoring this blog just because of boredom and coming back here again like there's nothing ever happened. But, ya, for that, I am really sorry! I do apologize! And, what making me back here is because there's something distracting my life these days, and really don't know where else to share..

Well, you guys surely have ever been (or maybe will be) in a phase when you're tired with everything. Tired with your daily routine, with your life, with all works, with people around you, with small things that you have to care, with every little-useless-unimportant thought that's always running through your mind, even you're queasy to have a holiday for relaxing you mind, body and soul, and everything starts to look annoying. And I'm on that phase.

I AM TIRED WITH EVERYTHING. E-VE-RY-THING!

Seriously, I don't even know what's going on with me. All I know is I'm queasy with everything around me. Maybe this what people call tired-to-the-climax. I don't want to be around people right now. I need to be alone. Completely alone.